Desert Crisis
by ForestSpeyer
Summary: British Commando's find more than just terrorists in the Afghan caves.. R+R


This goes for all chapters. If you have trouble understanding the slang, then please copy and paste the phrase into a review and I will reply with the translation.  
  
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Aldershot, England  
  
8:00 pm  
  
It was the highpoint of the week. Piss up night. Almost every Para would find pubs to go get drunk at and pick up women. Some bar managers only let in a certain amount of Paratroopers and told the others to piss off, meaning they would have to go find another pub. As usual me and my group were first in at our usual pub The Gooses Neck. A nice, large old style pub with old creaking wooden floorboards, pictures of soldiers on the walls and the occasional union jack flag pinned above the ceiling. The bar was at the far right of the entry door, and all the tables and chairs were splayed around the edges of the room where old and young people would talk, laugh and joke about numerous things whilst sipping their pints. The jukebox was allways playing classical rock such as Thin Lizzy or The Clash and the room was allways dimly lit.  
  
I had got my pint and sat down on the wooden stool with three more Para's at the table. The rest were either on other tables or dancing with the local girls in the middle of the pub, making fools of themselves as their mates cheered them on. No one at my table seemed to be talking but I was'nt suprised, we had just done three HALO jumps from a Hercules C-130 plane. Everyone was tired, and to add to the discomfort there was a table behind me full of people that were talking at the top of their voices. But Ididnt bother to look round, even with the person still shouting in my ear. If we were in uniform we would of been treated with respect. But going into a pub without a uniform, you just feel vulnerable to the loud mouth's looking for fights around you.  
  
I was suddenly distracted by a hard dig in the ribs. I turned my head around to see a big, huge bald man sitting on the stool behind me digging his elbow into my ribs as he gave me a dirty look. The people on his table were also big and muscled up like something from He-Man. I frowned, staring at him without fear as he stared me in the eyes.  
  
"Move in, I aint got enough space" He said to me in a thick scottish accent.  
  
Without hesitating, I moved my chair in, and then turned back to face my comrades. Mick had his eyebrow raised, his mouth open in a small state of shock as he leaned over the table to speak to me.  
  
"Dont take shit from that ugly bastard"  
  
"Dont worry about it, I ain't in the mood for bollocks to-" I was cut off, feeling another sharp dig in the ribs. "I'll be back in a minute" I said as I got up, not bothering to look around as I made my way over to a wooden door at the back of the pub which had Men written on it in a blue thick marker pen. I opened the door and stepped in, Walking into a much brighter yet cramped toilet area as I stepped over to the urinal to take a piss. As I was unzipping my flies the door swung open, and the bald man that was nudging me in the ribs stepped in, barging me away from the urinal as he took my spot.  
  
"Move out the fucking way junior, I need a slash"  
  
I backed up against the door a little, looking at the other three urinals which he could of used. Nudging a man in the ribs is one thing, but stopping a guy from pissing was taking the biscuit. There was also the fact that he called me junior. I was only twenty, But I was a Para which he obviously did'nt know. With now a frustrated look on my face, and my teeth grinding, I stormed out of the toilets. As I stepped back into the bar I was instantly hit by the music and the sounds of laughter and talking. I walked back over to my mates, tapping Mick on the shoulder and whispering into his ear.  
  
"It's gonna go off"  
  
Instantly Mick turned around to look at me along with the rest of the Para's at the table who were once tired, but now starting to grin knowing there was going to be a fight.  
  
"Right, We have you covered" Mick nodded at me just before I walked away, making my way towards the bar, noticing out the corner of my eye that the bathroom door opened and the bald man stepped out, instantly scanning the area and then locking his eyes onto me as I ignored him. I just stared at the menu for greasy foods above the beer pumps, trying to look casual when suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder.  
  
I didnt bother to turn around, instead I just closed my eyes and sighed as I began to hear the abuse of the bald man behind me.  
  
"Alright Tiny Tim, Who do you think you are? You dont just walk away from someone who steals your piss pot, are you going to stand up for yourself or what?"  
  
I felt my jaw clench tight, and instantly my true self was shown as my face turned into a horrible frown and anger took over my body as I reached for the nearest object on the bar. Which was a very thick glass ashtray, which I took a grip on and spun around, smashing the ashtray right on the center of the bald mans head. The ashtray shattered on his head, and instantly made him drop to the floor holding his head, as I looked up to hear chairs being pushed over.  
  
I looked up to see the other Scots pushing their chairs over to rush in aid of their friend, when suddenly the Para's on the next table flipped up their table and all at the same time pounced on the Scots like Wolves. Instantly, shouting was heard and the smashing up of glass and wood. I looked around, seeing my fellow Para's defending me as they kicked and punched the Scots to the floor, and even some other trouble makers that had been causing bollocks earlier on. Even Micky had his typical Para frown as he kicked a large fat man to the ground, booting him in the stomach whilst shouted abuse at him. Absolute carnage.  
  
I looked back to the ground to see the bald Scotsman holding his bleeding head moaning as he coward on the floor. Without mercy, I began stamping on his ribs, the funny part being that I still had my thick steel cap assault boots on which were adding to the damage. As my boot hit the side of torso, I could feel my boot actually squashing so far and hard into his waist that I heard his rib crack and a sudden yelp. I carried on booting him when he shouted out a plea.  
  
"I've broke my fucking rib cage, leave me out!"  
  
"Leave you out you fucking slag?!"  
  
I stamped on him a few times until I was satisfied with the punishment of my adversary, then walked away scanning the area incase my help was needed. I instantly spotted Micky having a punch up with someone and another Scot coming up behind him with a bottle in his hand, about to smack him over the head with it. I ran over as fast as I could.  
  
"Oi, Cunt!"  
  
As the man turned around I gripped my hands onto the shoulder pads of his leather jacket and slammed my head forward, nutting him on the nose and hearing it crack as I dragged him down towards me and slamming my knee as hard as possible into his stomach like a hot knife through butter. He fell to the floor and I stepped back, raising my arms in the air as tables, chairs, glass and bottles were flying all across the room.  
  
"Well, Who else wants some fucking whoppers?!"  
  
Suddenly there was a large boom and everyone stopped fighting and all became quiet, some people still had each other in headlocks. Everyones eyes trailed across the room to see the land lord, pointing a shotgun at the ceiling, which had a huge hole in it. He screamed out at us as he lowered his shotgun, pointing it all around the room.  
  
"I've had enough of you fucking Para's, get out of my fucking bar before I fucking kill someone!!"  
  
He fired another shot which got everyone moving again, as they all screamed at each other to run. Everyone including me ran out the double doors and scrammed across the streets in a hurry as the land lord chased out after us, still firing his shotgun. That was the end of The Gooses Neck for us. I dont think it would of been wise for us to go back there again. 


End file.
